Put Into Practice: Barriers to Meaning

I am currently on a tight schedule of getting as much homework done so that I won't have to do homework during July 8th- 11th.  So this is the best I can crank out.

Barriers to meaning.  Today, June 29th, we learned about barriers, although I am sure I don't have a firm understanding yet.  I'm sure I'll learn and understand more next time in class, but the goal is to get this done tonight.

I think we all have barriers.  Good and bad.  Like a corral fence, to keep herds safe from wondering off , to keep predators out, to prevent from eating yummy grass. (It's getting late and I'm getting tired and burned out).  

I am not sure if we are to give our own definitions to the different barriers or to post our own definition / cure to stereotyping.

I am back writing this Thursday morning.

I think that a way to break barriers is to keep an open mind.  Easier said than done.  The next thing, we go to school, the store, work, or even our own family members/ friends.  Maybe even exes.  We come into contact with people who get on our nerves, annoy, or patronize.  Personalities may clash, sticky backgrounds and past events make things awkward.  Walls are put up.  We can ignore.

Now certainly, all things in balance.  We may have to just cut some ties in our lifetimes.  I know I've had to.  People hurt us, we hurt people, life goes on.  Yes, it does hurt.  We can long for times when there wasn't any drama.  Back the good ol' days.  The only thing that we can do is keep on pressing forward, trying, and hoping for better days.  We can treat others as we want to be treated.  We can say 'hello' to those co-workers who annoy, etc.

  We can educate our children to treat others kindly.  We can do our best to have an open heart and mind.  We can break these barriers to the best of our ability.

Put into practice: the perceptual process

In my church there are various Gropius called YSA (young single adults), who have activities on Mondays.  Some activities are held in the ward or congregation you belong to, which is based on various locations of where you live.  Other activities involve surrounding wards.

  This past Monday was an activity with surrounding wards.  Needless to say, there where quite a lot of people there.  I don't do very well in large crowds, especially when socializing is a key factor.  I shut down, but I still wanted to continue to make baby steps, so I went.

I arrived a bit early, and took deep breaths and relaxed.  I would tell myself that I was making progress, that it's okay if I get anxious, since I get discouraged at times when the outcome of how I interact with others is less than what I expected in my head.  

In time more and more people came, some who I recognized better than others.  Others I didn't know at all.  I said hello to a few in my home ward.  I kept on pacing back and forth so that I wasn't awkwardly standing in one spot, as if to look like I had purpose in bring there, and to keep myself busy.

Finally the time came when we could get our hamburgers and hotdogs and other things.  I got mine and quickly found a seat.  I sat by myself, not too far but not too close to other people, and turned my chair to face the pool.  I took more deep breaths and allowed myself to relax, to enjoy being there snd to be thankful of the things there.  

A girl my age and two adults sat down at a table next to mine.  

  Her hair was blonde and down in a messy yet cute bun (or was it a braid? I can't remember). Her clothes cute as well.  I gathered that she took care into her appearance and clothing.  That didn't mean that she was vain, but maybe that was just what she took care in.  But who were the adults?  We're they her parents?  Why were they here?  Did they give her the money to buy the clothes and makeup products and accessories?  Or did she purchase them herself?

She began to talk to me, starting the conversation. 'Where are you from? Are you going to school here?  Where did you graduate high school?  What year?'

  We found out that we went to the same high school and graduated the same year.  She asked me my name and I told her.  She then said:  "I think I know you".  It turns out that I too recognized her.  I don't know from what though.  Clearly we might have crossed paths or shared a class but it was obvious that we didn't have the same groups, cliques, if you will.  Was she a cheerleader?  Maybe a member of a dance group?  I never socialized with those groups in high school.  

  I concluded to keep the conversation going by explaining that I did a year of college after graduation, and then went on a mission.  The adult woman next to her perked up, and asked me questions about it.  I did my best to answer eloquently, although I stumbled over my words, since I tend to stammer when I get nervous sometimes.  I forced myself to keep going, and to not get discouraged at my lack of eloquence.  

The girl piped up with good-humor and a little laugh: "at least you did something after high school.  I didn't."  (I don't exactly remember what she said).

I gave a little courtesy laugh and a sheepish: "yeah..."

And the conversation was over.  What did she mean by that?

  She turned to her mom and proceeded to talk with whom I now assumed to be her parents.  Maybe they where YSA leaders.  I gathered bits and pieces of conversation as I proceeded to eat my food.  Some bits about boys.  

I had wanted to swim at the pool a little bit but this point mothers with children swarmed the pool, and I was feeling spent social-wise, so I decided to leave.

So many of these steps of the perceptual process I did subconsciously.  I still don't know where to categorize the different influences and theories in about a 5 -7 minute conversation.  

Put Into Practice: Authentic Self - 06/09/2016

  I am a wholehearted believer of self-disclosure.  I first learned about it in my Family Relationships class during my spring 2014 semester of college.  I believe that you do have to risk being vulnerable, and risk even being rejected or judged when you disclose.  You have to let down your guard, and it takes courage to do so.  Then there are the milliseconds of breathless waiting as the person whom you disclose to takes it in, processes it, and reacts.

  I know that self-disclosure mostly has to do with relationships with others.   Whether with friends, significant others, spouses, or other family members.  It can also occur with other people who have a position where that may be needed, like a therapist, judge, or pastor, priest, or bishop.  Even to ourselves. 
We all have secrets.  Things that we have done or experienced that we are not proud of, or things that are about ourselves that we are not proud of.  

Healing takes time, and it is all up to us and on our own time to disclose of such information to whomever it may be.  

I believe that healing is possible for everyone.  

Now I have generalized anxiety disorder.  I take medication for it, and that does help, I still have to practice 'grounding exercises' when I get overly anxious and my thoughts start running rampant with "what ifs" kind of thoughts.  Even though I have disclosed of this with my significant other, I still know that I will have to further disclose information I have further learned about with him, and to explain the triggers and how they work to him.  I feel that when that conversation happens, we will be closer in understanding.

I still fear at times of what his reaction will be, because I am afraid of losing him.  I will have to risk being vulnerable once again, and opening up and exposing the darker corners, the corners that aren't as polished.  

It takes humility.  I have returned from a mission, and even missions make you realize that there are more parts about yourself that you recognize and you think: "Wow... I am not as great as I thought I was..."
And its okay and normal to have a mini crises and despair and feel discouraged because there are all of these things messed up about you.  The key thing, is to not let it ruin you.  
  I know I have anxiety.  I also have Attention Deficit Disorder, and eczema.  I may also very well have a condition were I can't, or don't produce enough sweat and my body overheats and I am more likely to get heat exhaustion.  These make up parts of me.  I won't be able to shake them off.  So I learn to accept them and to live with them.  And that's okay.  Because I believe that one day I will be freed from them.  Until then, I can help others who deal with similar things.

It has to take vulnerability.  You have to take that risk and lower your guard.  A sense of peace will enter when you do so.  The burdens will be relieved.  

Putting into Practice - 06/04/16

A few days ago I was scrolling through Facebook, but first I must explain some back-story.  I served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  Males are called Elders and females are called Sisters.  For sister missionaries, there are another set of sisters that in a way check up on them, and they're called Sister Training Leaders.  In one of my areas I served in New Jersey, and it was a particular hard time, and there where some personality clashes with this particular Sister Training Leader.

Now that I am home, I saw a post that she had put on Facebook, saying that she had gotten a job at a store called Deseret Book, and this store is very common among the LDS faith.

Once I saw this post, I immediately assumed that of course she got a job at Deseret Book, and then I stopped myself.  I was assuming that she was a goody-two-shoes.  I realized how judgmental that was.  I changed my thought into something more positive, such as that it was good for her to get a job there.

Introducing myself

June 2nd, 2016

  Hello, this is Sydney Roesch.  I have returned to Dixie State University this summer semester since I have been gone for 18 months, serving in the Pennsylvania, Philadelphia Mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-Day Saints.  I am 21 years old.   I have enjoyed very much this communication class, and it reminds me of a Family Relationships class I took during my Freshman year of college in the spring 2014 semester.

This class interested me, which is why I was registered for it.  I am working on completing my general studies, and I hope to major in art.  I am still not entirely sure what exactly, and for now I am thinking of heading towards graphic art.

It is interesting how I am applying what I am learning bit by bit.  I noticed at work that I would think different thoughts, not necessarily anything negative, but just thoughts, like repeating to myself something I was told to do so that I wouldn't forget it.

I am interested to see and learn how Interpersonal Communication will interlink with things like relationships and as well as the psychological aspect, such as mental, emotional, psychological disorders.